ROLES OF MEN AND WOMEN,
as outlined in the Bible.
is pressure in the world today to treat men and women as equals in all
the possible positions in life.
this the way God intended it to be?
Or, is it Satan
- using human nature - causing both men and women to lose sight of
their God given roles?
the Bible describe Men and Women?
[As explained in
other articles on this Web Site, I use the Bible to explore topics
identifying themes - or common threads, running throughout the Bible -
rather than concentrating on specific verses, that may, or
not, be as
the original writer intended. Since Christ and the Apostles
established the New Testament Church with just the Old Testament, I
give the Old Testament more weight, but you must remember that both Testaments were each
written for people living under different covenants and very different conditions].
in Common.At the highest level of looking at the
men and women do have an equal footing, and a number of things in
[All emphasis within quoted Scripture is mine.]
Gen 1:27 NLT " So God created human beings in His
own image. In the image of God He created them; male and
female He created them."
far as one head, two arms, two legs and a body are concerned, then men
and women are the same, and have similar features as God the Father -
5:1-2 NLT "This is the written account of the descendants of
Adam. When God created human beings, He made them to be like Himself.
(2) He created them male and female, and He blessed them and
called them "human.""
value of each life is the same. For instance, whoever intentionally
kills another human - man or women - is to be put to death.
35:30 NET. "Whoever
kills any person,
the murderer must be put to death by the testimony of witnesses; but
one witness cannot testify against any person to cause him to be put to
The end purpose of their life is the same,
and both men and women have an equal opportunity to obtain
1Pe 3:7 NET.
"Husbands, in the same way, treat
your wives with consideration as the weaker partners and show them
honor as fellow heirs of
the grace of life. In this way nothing will hinder your
However, when it comes
down to individual people doing day to day things, the situation is a
from birth, the gender determined different requirements before God,
under the Old Covenant.
Lev 12:2-5 NET.
"Tell the Israelites, 'When a woman produces offspring and bears a male child, she will
be unclean seven days,
as she is unclean during the days of her menstruation.
On the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin must be
(4) Then she will remain thirty-three
in blood purity. She must not touch anything holy and she must not
enter the sanctuary until the days of her purification are
(5) If she bears a female child, she
will be impure fourteen
days as during her menstrual flow, and she will remain sixty-six days in
may not fully understand the "blood purity" God is speaking about, but
we can clearly see that the lengths of time are double for a female
child, than they are for a male child. They are not treated
27:1-7 NET. The LORD spoke to Moses: (2)
the Israelites and tell them, 'When a man makes a special votive
offering based on the conversion value of persons to the
(3) the conversion value of the male from twenty years old up to sixty
years old is fifty
shekels by the standard of the sanctuary shekel.
(4) If the person is a female,
the conversion value is thirty
shekels. (5) If the person is from five years old up to twenty
years old, the conversion value of the male is twenty shekels, and
for the female ten shekels.
(6) If the person is one
month old up to five years old, the conversion value of
the male is five shekels
of silver, and for the female
the conversion value is three
shekels of silver. (7) If the person
is from sixty years old
and older, if he is a male
the conversion value is fifteen
shekels, and for the
female ten shekels.
we don't make these same offerings today, we can see that in God's mind
there is a difference between the ages and there is a difference
between the sexes.
men and women are
different, he wants them to look
Deu 22:5 NET. "A woman must not wear men's clothing,
nor should a man dress up
in women's clothing,
for anyone who does this is offensive to the LORD your God."
Unfortunately a lot of men (dressing as drag queens) have made a lot of money being "offensive
to the Lord our God".
ability to determine the sex of a person by sight, is further enhanced
by their hair. Men are to have shortish hair and women are to have
1Co 11:14-15 NET. Does not
nature itself teach you that
if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace for him,
(15) but if a
woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is
given to her for a covering.
nature has been mentioned, I might point out that in the animal kingdom
(except for a few species of birds and fish) it is usually easy to
male and the female. God as creator, for the most part, has made them
look different - because they are different.
desire for men to have hair neither too short or too long is also found
Eze 44:20 NET. " 'They [the priests]
must not shave their
heads nor let their hair grow long; they must only trim
Just as an aside, since Christ is our
High Priest, He most certainly would not have had long hair.
Coverings.1Co 11:4-5 NET. Any man who prays or
prophesies with his head
covered disgraces his head. (5) But
who prays or prophesies with
her head uncovered disgraces her head, for it is one and
the same thing as having a shaved head.
may want to argue about what sort of covering is being talked about,
but it is very clear that the end result means that men do something
that is the exact opposite to what the women are supposed to do. Again,
they are not equal.
males could serve within the tabernacle and be priests. However, in the
greater community, men were also to hold the positions of leadership.
18:25 NLT "He chose capable
men from all over Israel and appointed them as leaders over the people.
He put them in charge of groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty,
fact that a selection had to be made shows that not all men are equal
and just being "male" does not give you the right to lead.
However, leaders and future leaders should be found within
of the community.
Num 11:16-17 NLT "Then
the LORD said to Moses, "Gather before Me seventy men who are recognized as elders
and leaders of Israel.
Bring them to the Tabernacle to stand there with you.
I will come down and talk to you there. I will take some of the Spirit
that is upon you, and I will put the Spirit upon them also. They will
bear the burden of the people along with you, so you will not have to
carry it alone.""
30:3-8 NET. "If a young woman who is still living in her father's
house makes a vow to the LORD or places herself under an
obligation, (4) and her father hears of her vow or the
obligation to which she has pledged herself, and her father remains
silent about her, then all her vows will stand, and every obligation to
which she has pledged herself will stand. (5) But if her father overrules her when he hears about it,
then none of her vows or her obligations which she has pledged for
herself will stand. And the LORD will release her from it, because her
father overruled her. (6) "And if she marries a husband
while under a vow, or she uttered anything impulsively by which she has
pledged herself, (7) and her husband hears about it, but
remains silent about her when he hears about it, then her vows will
stand and her obligations which she has pledged for herself will
stand. (8) But if when her husband hears it he overrules her,
then he will nullify the vow she has taken, and whatever she uttered
impulsively which she has pledged for herself. And the LORD will
release her from it."
Obviously God sees the making of a vow by a female in a different light to a father or a husband.
The Roles of
and Women are Different.As
we can see from the Scriptures we have already read, God never gave
instructions that men and women are to be equal in all things.
people today, who demand "equality" between the sexes, are getting into
an area that God never intended. An extreme example of people doing
what they wanted and ignoring the wishes of God, was just before Noah's
flood. The amount of sin in the world got so bad that God decided to
eliminate all life except for eight people, and the animals in the ark
6:5-6 NET. "But the LORD saw that the wickedness of humankind had
become great on the earth. Every inclination of the thoughts
of their minds was only evil all the time.
(6) The LORD regretted that he had made humankind on the
earth, and he was highly offended."
our human reasoning instead of obeying God's instructions, offends God.
Mankind did it before Noah's flood, and we are heading in the
direction if we push on with our human agenda
and ignore the wishes of God (Mat 24:37).
If we are prepared to
Scriptures be our guide, we will see that God has always intended for
men and women to have a common destiny, but a different path to follow
in order to achieve that goal. As I see it, by people trying
to put women into
roles that are meant for men, it will weaken the family structure, and
in turn weaken the
nation as a whole.
and Women are Physically Different.There
are plenty of books around that go into the differences that one's sex
to the human body, so I won't go into the details here. In general, the
tougher male body is designed for physical work, and the softer female
designed to produce and nurture children.
and Women are Mentally Different.I
have not read the book, but I like the title "Men are from Mars, and
Women are from Venus". We are so different in the way we think that -
at times - it is possible to believe that we are from different
are quick to be challenged by a problem, and soon start coming up with
suggestions on how to solve them.
like to talk about their problems for a long time first, and can
quickly get upset if a man tells them how to solve their problem -
unless specifically asked to do so.
into a group of men at a BBQ and you may find the discussion is about
the weather or sport, but it can also be about world conditions, the
country's leaders, or what needs to be done to "fix" a problem. In
general, the country and the world.
of women at a BBQ has been that they are talking about clothes, babies,
food, problems with their husbands, problems with other women, or
social events. In general, the home and the neighborhood.
is easy for men to fall into a "tunnel vision" approach to life. They
see something that needs to be done, and if they are not careful, turn
it into a project that consumes their thoughts. It is natural (but not
necessarily right) for a man to get so engrossed with his "project"
that he will ignore the needs of others around him. How many men have
spent the prime of their life "getting ahead" in their job, only to
find years later that his wife and family have become "strangers".
on the other hand, can carry a child on their hip, have the washing
machine going, be cooking a meal and working out what needs to
on the shopping list, all at the same time. Depending on how "snowed
under" they are, they may lose sight of why they are doing all these
things, but they can certainly keep track of all the things needed to
keep a home running.
are not wrong - just differences. The
three examples of differences I mentioned above, does not mean that one
is right and the other is wrong. Instead it highlights the
that men and women were created by God to have different thought
processes, and different ways of looking at things, which are more
suited to their particular role.
own a car and an old Fordson tractor, and I sometimes use them to help
illustrate the point above. The car and tractor have many things in
common - a water cooled engine up the front with the power coming
through the gearbox to the back wheels. While I could drive the tractor
along the highway, and I could pull a small plough with the car, they
much more efficient when the are used for what they are designed for.
it is true that some men have made good "nannies" and some women have
a leader of a country - and I agree there may be situations at times
when men and
women have to step outside their traditional roles - but for the most
part, men and women perform the best when they fulfill the roles God
intended. The tractor does a great job ploughing and the car moves
along a highway very nicely. Why try to change that?
However, let me state it again, lest people try to stereotype men and women.
Bible - as I have tried to bring out in this article - has many
instructions for men that are different from the instructions to the
women. We should study and understand those instructions. However,
sometimes time and chance or personality, will mean that we take a
different path for a while. Jesus started out - in the eyes of the
world - as an illegitimate child. King David started out as a shepherd
boy. Esther won a beauty pageant, and after a successful "one night
stand" with the king, went on to save the Jewish race. Deborah lived in
a time of no obvious male leaders, and God inspired her to step in to take up
The point I am trying to make is - try and live by
the Biblical role model, but do not be confined by it. Your situation
may be unique, so exploit it to the full if you have the opportunity. .
are Men and Women suited for ? I
understand that not all are going to agree with what follows, but we
have to start somewhere if we are going to try and pin down the God given roles
of men and women. The only document God has used to communicate with
mankind in general is the Bible. However, it was not written in
English, so at times we can lose some of the clarity of the original
through it's translation. Then, because of the need for copies
made by hand down through the centuries, some accidental and perhaps
even deliberate errors
have been added to the mix.
said - it is still the only document we have that quotes the words spoken by our Creator
to help us see the roles we are best suited for. We need to look
at the book in total, rather than getting bogged down with just one or
two verses, which may, or may not, reflect the intentions of the
have already read Scriptures
that show that God expects men to be leaders in the
community and of the country (Ex 18:25, Num 11:16-17). We
will now look at some verses
that show that men are to also take the lead in the marriage and in the
1Co 11:3 NET. " But I want you to know
that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman,
and God is the head of Christ."
submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."
5:22-25 NET. "Wives,
submit to your husbands as to the Lord,
(23) because the husband
is the head of the wife
as also Christ is the head of the church — he himself being
savior of the body. (24) But as the church submits
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in
everything. (25) Husbands, love your wives
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her".
if they are properly trained and are converted, are better suited to
this position as they tend to take a long term view of things. They
also have the ability to focus on what is important, and not get
sidetracked by trivia. Their masculine strength should help them to
make the difficult decisions - always after input from all the family
and open discussion.
Men who have not been taught
how to deal
with people with love, compassion and respect, have brought a great
deal of disgrace on men in general. Others are quick to jump on this
negative aspect displayed by undisciplined men, and put all men into
the same boat. If the human mind wants excuses it can find them almost
anywhere. If you are genuine in your search of the truth, then you have
to learn to make a distinction between males who
the right training and are doing things right, and males who are not
up to the standard expected by God.
of "leader" of the home, is balanced with plenty of instruction of how
to go about fulfilling this position.
love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself for her"
Eph 5:28 NET. " In the same
way husbands ought to
love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his
wife loves himself."
Eph 5:33 NET. "Nevertheless,
each one of you must also love
his own wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
3:19 NET. "Husbands,
love your wives and do not be embittered against them."
3:7 NET. "Husbands,
in the same way, treat
your wives with consideration as the weaker partners and
show them honor as fellow heirs of the grace of life. In this way
nothing will hinder your prayers."
Greek of the New Testament has at least eight words than can be
translated as "love". For instance, there is the love we have for our
children, the love we have for a friend, and the love we have for God.
The love that husbands are told to have for their wives, is the same
type of love (G25) we are to have for God. It is the love we have when
it is the right thing to do - to love in a moral sense. The love a
husband has for his wife should have nothing to do with the "performance" of the wife. It should be constant and unconditional.
the years, men have used the Bible to give them "extra" authority over
women. They have taken the position of leadership to the extreme, and
ignored all the instructions that have been given about loving your
wife and family, and only treating others as you yourself would like to
be treated. Just because some/many men get it wrong, is no
excuse for women to also get it wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right.
A point about physical abuse.Let me try to make it as clear as possible.
A man should NEVER lay a hand on a woman in anger.
If a woman "attacks" a man in a physical way, men you have two options - again as I see it.
But never, never, use ANY excuse to lay a hand on a woman.
- Cover your eyes so that her finger nails do not accidentally hurt your eyes, and stand there and let her vent her anger.
- As Dr Phil advises, if you can't do that, run down the street and hide in the bushes.
as Leaders Should Lead.While
the world at large has zeroed in on Eve eating the forbidden fruit, I
believe that Adam has to share the blame as well. Adam was not deceived
(1 Tim 2:14) and therefore could have stepped in and stopped Eve - he
was right there with her (Gen 3:6). Because Adam was not willing to
exercise his leadership position, he failed Eve, and in turn the whole
human race to follow him.
It has been my experience
as we start
this third millennium after Jesus's birth, that if you challenge men about their
religious beliefs, their overwhelming response is to ignore you. They
just stop communicating. They are dealing with something that makes
them feel uncomfortable, so they hide behind a wall of silence.
is, as I see it now, totally against the God given role of men
- real Godly men - must push themselves to "speak into darkness". Go
where they might feel uncomfortable, but go anyway, because it is the
right thing to do. Address any areas where
things don't look right. You may not have all the answers, but go there
regardless, and have the faith that God will help when you have gone as
as humanly possible.
Stand up for what you believe.
If you can't
discuss your religious beliefs, then it could be because your religious
probably not worth discussing. Sure, you are not going to convince
everyone that you are right, but at least be willing to discuss ALL
matters - whether you feel comfortable or not. If you don't know about
something, make it your job to find out. For more about moving out of
your comfort zone,
the book, "The Silence of Adam" by Larry Crabb, gives a good
insight into this principle.
If you pick up the
story of Amnon raping his sister Tamar in 2 Sam 13,
and then follow it through, you will begin to get some idea of what can
happen when men fail to take action. Two men were angry about the rape,
but neither took any corrective action at the time. Amnon was not
Tamar did not have her situation addressed. It escalated to murder and
then finally to rebellion and treason.
It is so easy
for men to "look the other way" - but so wrong.
The Ship Goes Where
Men Steer It.
benefit of hind-sight, as I see it, men are to take the overview of the
family, the community and the nation.
are to be run according to God's principles. If something is not right,
then it is the responsibility of the head of the household to
involved, or pass their concern further up the chain of responsibility,
or put up their hand for help.
While the children in
will initially get most of their instruction from their mother - as
they will be spending most of their time with them - the father still
be involved. This involvement should start even before the child is
conceived. A child should be conceived because it is wanted,
the support structure needed to give it a good start in life is in
place. In other words, it can be looked after and nurtured without
undue stress on the family. That said, there will always be some stress
in having a baby to care for.
needs to feel
that the situation around it is stable and under control. There is a
"leader" in charge who can keep the ship moving in the right direction.
Long before the baby comes along, there needs to be in place a way of
resolving family disputes that does not include shouting or using
words. Right from the start, newlyweds need to practice the art of
resolving disputes by just sticking to the relevant facts, and not get
involved in "character assassination", or dredging up past
"sins", or shouting. Each member of the family needs to be taught to treat
member of the family with respect. This can include saying
"excuse me" when interrupting, knock on doors before entering and wait
to be asked to enter, and not using things belonging to
without permission, and so on. Doing these sort of things to
bring peace to the family situation, can only be maintained when the
"head of Household" is setting the standard.
the fathers are yelling, throwing things, slamming
disguised temper tantrums (and sometimes not all that well
disguised), and fits of anger, or turning to "something" for "escape",
then they should consider themselves as failing to reach the standard
God expects the "Head of Household" to achieve.
are growing up, the father should be involved in exposing them to many
different situations, such as theater, orchestras, clean
live-entertainment, sports, museums, outdoor activities, social
and so on. This will help the child to have confidence in all social
situations. At the same time, children need to be taught that not
everything you see on Television, or in the Movies, is true. Many
people are "made up" and therefore will look different in real life.
Stunt men make a living out of faking events. Children need to know
that you can't tell (without some understanding of the process) the difference between what is real, and what
is computer generated
well, the child needs to be taught by the
about the many different types of people they may run into in life.
They should be taught to expect to run into people who are honest - and
people who are dishonest. People who may
see them as a sex object, which means they need to know about
homosexuals and how they operate, if they are boys. The girls need to
know that a male of any age or family position, has the potential to
sexually abuse them. They need to
know that there are con artists, thieves, and people just looking for
an excuse to pick a fight. The list goes on, but the better
father can equip their children with what to lookout for in life, the
better they will handle it when they confront such people, or better still, avoid such people/situations in the first place.
think most of would agree that father and sons need to bond and do
things together - watching Dad handle different situations or problems
is great training for the sons. However, it is very important that the
father bonds with the daughters too. Teenage girls crave male
attention, and the one giving them hugs, attention and love, that early
in their life, should be their Dad. If this void is not filled, then
the daughters will be tempted to grab hold of the first male that shows
them the slightest attention.
well the men of the world can steer the ship, will affect the current
generation and will have an affect on generations to come.
Greatest Role of all for Men.Mal 4:6
NET. "He will encourage
fathers and their children to return to me, so that I will
not come and strike the earth with judgment."
it or not, if men accept their God given role of being head of the
family, then they must also accept that the weight of responsibility
for getting things right, also rests on their shoulders.
view, there can be no greater contribution to the child, the family,
and all society, than bringing a child up having a relationship with
God, and having a deep respect for His laws and standards. Every child
needs to learn off by heart, at least a simple form of the Ten
Commandments. They need to be taught to analyze situations, so that
they treat others the way they would like to be treated if they were in
A child needs to be taught to
position certain people hold (parent, teacher, policeman, country
leader, and so on) regardless of the standard of the person currently
in such a position. This helps to stop the human tendency to be good
people you like, and have no respect for those you don't like. If the
male of the household can get the children to respect the "office" held
by other people, then there is less chance of shame being brought on
the family by rebellion against those in authority.
As well, a
needs to be taught to look after and maintain everything it owns, and
to look after the property of others. This should start at an early
age, by children being taught that you don't touch things in shops
unless you genuinely intend to buy it (and have the money to do so). If the child owns too much, then
they need to be taught to share their goods with others, or pass it on
to Op Shops so that other people can have the benefit of owning it.
male child needs to be taught that touching any part of a female body
is off-limits until they get married. Obviously holding hands to cross
a road, and kissing parents, Aunts and Grandmothers on the cheek, are exceptions
- as are medical emergencies. In my day, it was generally believed that
if the actual sex act didn't take place, then everything else was "OK",
but our children need to be taught better. Using the principle
from Mat 5:28, it is clear that any touching of a female body in a way
that should be reserved for within marriage, breaks the seventh
female child needs to be taught that no one - until her husband comes
along - has the right to touch her body, and she should make that very
clear to any male who suggests otherwise. Again, medical requirements may be one of the exceptions.
good and ongoing
education about sex needs to be given while the children are at home,
they should also be taught to avoid sexually explicit material, and to
never be in a location with the opposite sex where temptation could be
a problem. 1 Cor 6:18. If you find you could be caught up
in a situation where you are alone with a member of the opposite sex,
either find a way out of the situation, or ask someone to be with you.
- if we let down on turning the hearts of our children towards God,
then we must accept some responsibility when God punishes the earth (Mal 4:6).
the apostle Paul was giving some last minute advice to Timothy, he gave
us a good summary of what life for younger and older women is all about.
2:2-6 NET. "Older
men are to be temperate, dignified,
sound in faith, in love, and in endurance.
(3) Older women
likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not
slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good.
(4) In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands,
to love their children,
(5) to be
self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home,
kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the
message of God
may not be discredited. (6) Encourage younger men likewise
to be self-controlled,"
Let's examine some of
these statements in this brief summary.
up, young men and young women are to have self control. This is not
easy, but absolutely essential if you are to obey the apostle Paul's
to "flee fornication". Any of you reading this and who had sex before
marriage, should understand that you did not have self control as a
young person, and you have gone against God's instructions. On
repentance, God can forgive, but you will have to live
with the damage that may have already been done.
men and women
are expected by God to set a high standard - in moral values - for the
younger generation to look up to. Part of the job of the older men and
women is to teach the younger generation how to avoid the mistakes they
have made, and give them instruction so they know how to handle the
situations they will encounter as they grow up.
the main focus, the "meat", of Paul's instruction, is giving
women a glimpse
of what their role is in life.
1. To live "subject to their own
2. To love [nurture and support] their
3. Love their children.
4. Fulfill their duties in the home.
5. Set a high standard as a Christian.
has gone wrong?For
just a moment, I am going to lay aside my usual method of looking at
the Bible as a whole (themes) and zero in on just one verse. It has
nothing to do
with defining the roles of men and women, but I feel it goes a long way
in explaining why the situation in the world today is moving away from
what God intended. I have quoted the verse from the NET Bible (the
notes given in the "First Edition" explain their reasons) because I
think they have
done a better job in translating this particular verse, than those who
follow the traditional KJV, and most other translations.
this verse is part of what God is telling Satan, Adam and Eve about the
consequences of their sin in eating the forbidden fruit.
3:16 NET. To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your labor pains;
with pain you will give birth to children.
You will want to control
but he will [want to] dominate you."
my short journey through life, I have bumped into many marriages where
there is almost constant friction between the husband and wife about
who is "right". The worst cases seem to be with European cultures, but
Western nations can have the problem too. For one family who lived
the "fight" often started in the morning and continued on and off all
sometimes descending into screaming sessions that could be heard a
definitely , the wife did not want to live
"subject to her own husband". Her consuming passion was to belittle the
husband in any way she could. Whenever the husband made a decision, she
would start coming up with reasons as to why it was wrong. The husband
had only a small amount of
religious training, but it was enough for him to know that he should be
respected as the "head of household". The last sentence of Gen 3:6 was
lived out in "Living Technicolor" - complete with sound-track.
think this verse and example highlights what has gone wrong.
women walk away from their God given role, they usually revert to their
basic human nature, and start to want to take over from the men. Men
who don't live up to their God given role of being loving leaders only
adds fuel to the fire.
put it another way, women
who want to
promote their sex to positions of leadership, or want "equality" with
the male sex, are demonstrating their lack of knowledge of what their
God given role in life is all about. A big part of the problem -
as I see it - is that too many women (and men) are worshiping the god
of mammon. They have been deluded into thinking that their "worth" to
God, humanity and society is determined by the money they earn.
Instead, I would guess, that God is much more concerned about how much
character they instill into their children before they get to age 12.
Which brings up the point - women already have enough to do, so they
should not be pressured into competing in the work-place, for more of
what the god of mammon has to offer.
is doing the pushing?
there have been - and still are in some places of the world - many
examples of men unjustly and unfairly trying to suppress women in the
society, it is rare to hear men say that they should stand aside and
the women take over. We do hear it today within Politics, but
that is more about appealing to 50+% of the voters, than a well thought
out plan to change the God given roles of men and women.
it seems to me that the push for "equality" - in some cases
"superiority" - is coming from the women of the world.
does it take to be a woman?What
I want to try and do now, is show that being a woman,
wife and mother is a full time job, without trying to take over from
Have you ever noticed in the Bible, how
many times the
type of rule a king achieved in his lifetime, is associated with his
mother. I'll list some of the verses - and edit them so the
important facts fit on one line.
NET. Rehoboam ...
mother Naamah... did evil in the sight of the
1Ki 15:1-3 NET. Jeroboam
... mother was Maacah ...
wholeheartedly devoted to the LORD,
NET. Jehoshaphat ... mother was Azubah ... [did]
what the LORD approved.
NET. Ahaziah ... mother was Athaliah ... did evil in the
sight of the LORD,
NET. Jehoash ... mother was Zibiah ...
did what the LORD approved,
NET. Joash ... mother was Jehoaddan ... He did what
the LORD approved,
NET. Azariah ... mother's name was
Jecholiah ... did what the LORD approved,
15:32-34 NET. Jotham ... mother was Jerusha did what the LORD
NET. Hezekiah ... mother was Abi... He did
what the LORD approved,
2Ki 21:1-2 NET.
Manasseh ... mother was Hephzibah ... He did evil in the sight
of the LORD
2Ki 21:19-20 NET. Amon ...
mother was Meshullemeth ... did evil in the sight of the
2Ki 22:1-2 NET. Josiah ... mother
was Jedidah ... He did what the LORD approved
23:31-32 NET. Jehoahaz ... mother was Hamutal ... He
did evil in the sight of the LORD
NET. Jehoiakim ... mother was Zebidah ... He did evil in the
sight of the LORD
2Ki 24:8-9 NET.
Jehoiachin ... mother was Nehushta ... He did evil in the
sight of the LORD
2Ki 24:18-19 NET.
Zedekiah ... mother was Hamutal ... He did evil in the sight
of the LORD
can imagine people saying that the mother is mentioned just so that we
know who the king's parents are, but I think God has inspired it to be
written this way to get across another point.
that a child's outlook on life is reasonably well established by the
time they are twelve or thirteen. During those formative twelve or
thirteen years, the parent having the most influence in the child's
life is the mother. I don't think it is any coincidence that the mother
is coupled with the final performance of the king (man). This is the
certainly the case in the following verses.
22:2-3 NET. Ahaziah was twenty-two years old when he became
king and he reigned for one year in Jerusalem. His mother was Athaliah,
the granddaughter of Omri. (3) He followed in the
footsteps of Ahab's dynasty, for his
mother gave him evil advice.
leaders are formed by women.
influence a mother has over her child, allows her to make or break the
next generation. If the child is female, then the mother should instill
within her a desire to bring up her own children in the next generation
so they are mature, well balanced, and capable of serving God and their
fellow man. If the child is male, then the mother should instill a
confidence that comes from knowing God, and knowing the role God
intends men to follow. The future leaders of the home, corporations, or
the country, are made before the child is 13 years old.
As I see it, to
abandon a child for many hours a day to whomever happens to be rostered
on at childcare, is not going to get the same results as doing the
2:3-5To give some idea of
just how important and all encompassing the role of a women is, it
might be helpful if we go through the points the Apostle Paul gave in
A General Point.
of what I will write will be directed to married women, since they are
the majority. However, the principles still apply to single women.
While you may not have children of your own, you still need to
how to support and help those who do, and those of your extended
family. Aunts can have a big impact on children. So many of the
whether you have children or not.
Subject to their own husbands.
it comes to the crunch, someone has to make the final decision. God has
decreed that the husband should pick up that responsibility.
need to train their daughters so that they can analyse possible
future husbands as to how much character (self-control) they have. If
you are going to "be subject" to a man, then you want it to be someone
you can look up to and respect. Of course, mothers should train their
male children so that when they grow up any woman would be happy to
have him for a husband.
The Greek word translated
"subject" is G5293 in Strongs and means "to subordinate; submit self
is very important that everyone understands that these instructions are
to the woman, and she is the one to make the decision to "submit".
Bible gives no power to the male to force his wife to submit.
Men, if your wife chooses not to submit, then you have to accept it and
just do the best you can. You won't be the first man to live through a
marriage under such conditions. There are still many other areas where
the marriage can produce good fruit.
willing to accept
that the husband has the final say in all major decisions, in
way should be taken that the wife becomes a "door-mat" for the husband
to walk over. The woman should always see God as the higher authority
(Acts 5:29). If the husband has certain wishes that do not
conflict with God's laws, then try to comply. However, your spiritual
connection with your God is yours alone, and no husband should try to
interfere with that.
7:13-14 KJV "And the woman which hath a husband that
not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave
him. (14) For the
unbelieving husband is sanctified by the
wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband:
unclean; but now are
expects at times, that husband and wife will have different religious
persuasions. Just one of a couple believing in God will give a great
deal of help to the children.
greatly helps if you can marry within your race and according to your
social status and religion. Having those three things in common does
stop some stresses building up later in life. This is not being "racist" or
being a snob - just using common sense. People from different races do
think differently about certain things, just as people do from
different religions. Ten or twenty years into a marriage, there are
going to be enough stresses about money (or lack of it) and children
and so on, without adding to it all by marrying into a family that has
little in common with your background. I think this is one of the
reasons why "arranged" marriages often do so well - the parents have made sure that the couple have much in
common to start with.
selecting a future mate, you also need to show love towards any future
children. Talk to children from mixed race marriages, and you
will often find that they are upset about not belonging to either race.
Putting them in "no-man's land" is not showing love. Also
some medical conditions make it wise for certain people not to marry.
True love will put the welfare of others before their own desires.
God's law prohibits any sexual activity before marriage, there is another good reason to keep the
emotion of sexual attraction out of the decision process. After
accepting Christ's sacrifice and turning with repentance to our Father, marriage is the next most
important decision we will make in life, and something we will have to
live with for the rest of our life. We need a clear head that is
unfettered by the emotion of sexual attraction as we approach this
second most important turning point in life.
course, as two
people date and spend time with each other, thoughts of future sexual
experiences will come to mind - so the big questions need to be asked
upfront. I once saw Steve Harvey promoting his
book on TV. The book was called "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man",
and the point he was making is that women need to ask (with lady-like
tact) some pointed questions within the first few hours of meeting
a man who has marriage potential. I think there is merit to what he was
saying, and I think there are useful questions that should be asked and
answered up front. What is his goal in life? Does he
save some, or waste, his disposable income? Did he have a
dysfunctional childhood? What does he understand about the Bible? How
much does he care about other people? How does he treat animals (a good
indicator of how he will treat people)? And so on.
Men who know
where they are going in life will enjoy talking to other people about
such personal details. Men who falter in their answers, or who begin to
attack with such comments as "you are being too pushy" - indicate that
they are not ready to be marriage material. If you can see serious
flaws in a man, do not be trapped into thinking that somehow it will
all "go away" when you are married - it won't. Only people can change themselves -
you can not change others - and especially if they are "happy with" or
"resigned to" their situation.
this point, I should make a comment to the single males reading this.
If ever you are fortunate to date a woman who has the wisdom to ask
"character revealing" questions up front, then you need to have your
very truthful answers ready.
Love your Husband.
in Genesis we find out why women were created.
2:18 NET. The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to
aspect of why women were created is so easily overlooked by those who
want "equality" with men. Women weren't created to be in charge of the
world - that position was already taken by Adam (1 Tim 2:13). They were
support the man who was already in charge.
this point I want to interject a thought that is not promoted in most
Bibles that I know of. Understanding the conditions that were
extant in the world when the original English Bibles were translated
may help to explain why I think the original has been understated. Lets
first look at Gen 2:20 NET. "So the man named all the animals,
the birds of the air, and the living creatures of the field, but for
Adam no companion who corresponded
to him was found." If you look up the words that NET have
translated "companion who corresponds", you can see that it could also
have been translated as "an aid who is his counterpart". Try and
imagine the scene. God has just
made male and female animals, birds, and so on. They needed to multiply
to populate the earth. So, in the animal kingdom, there may well
have been a lot of sexual activity going on. But Adam did not have a partner
to have sex with.
11:8-9 NET. "For man did not come from woman, but woman from man.
(9) Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for man."
There are many movies, video clips, magazines, posters and
so on that promote the sexual side of a woman - what they don't promote
is that a sexual woman has been created by God for just one man - her
who understand this
usually do better in life. Women who fight their God given role usually
end up with a chip on their shoulder and no men of significance in
their life. The vacuum this causes, often temps women to want to take
over from the men.
But it will never work to their
ultimate satisfaction, because it goes against what God intended.
need to understand that the only woman a husband can legally
(before God) have sex with is his wife. And men need to
understand that the only person his wife can have sex with is himself. Keeping sex out of the struggle for "equality" is very
important, as 1Co 7:3-5 NET explains. "A husband should give to his wife
her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband.
(4) It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body,
the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights
to his own body, but the wife. (5) Do not deprive each other,
except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote
yourselves to prayer. Then resume
your relationship, so that Satan may
not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
first years of a marriage there will be a week of every month when
sexual relations can not take place. Lev 15:19 NET. " 'When a
woman has a discharge and her discharge is blood from her body, she is
to be in her menstruation seven days,
and anyone who
touches her [in that area] will
be unclean until evening". Eze 18:6 NET. ... does not have sexual
relations with a woman during her period". However this is good
training for future
times when for other reasons a husband and wife can not enjoy sex. It
may be sickness, or an accident, or old age, or some other physical
impairment. A good cuddle will help to tied things over.
important thing is that sex or naked hugs should never be "off limits"
because of "limitations" imposed on the spouse. To put it another way,
the "Battle of the Sexes" - or any other battle for that matter -
should never be brought into the bedroom. Use
what God created to be enjoyed within marriage. While every woman mostly wants
sex to be a "seeing stars" event every time, the reality is that
sometimes it can be used for relief of tension. Here again, men and
different. Women often see sex as "the cream on top" after a successful
day, while men can still need sex after a disastrous day. Finding a
fair balance between the two is what makes a good marriage even better.
Love your children.
First up, we need
to keep in mind what the purpose is for having children.
is creating a family. The end result He is looking for, are spirit
beings with perfect character, enjoying life with him in the Kingdom.
The process of creating God's family has three main parts, as outlined
by Christ in John 3.
Joh 3:6 NLT
"Humans can reproduce
only human life,
but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life."
3:5 NLT "Jesus replied, "I assure you, no one can enter the
Kingdom of God without being
born of water and the Spirit."
process of becoming a spirit being in the Kingdom of God requires our
physical (or blood) birth, then our birth through the water (baptism), and finally
our birth through the Spirit (resurrection). In other words, to go from
nothing to being a spirit being in the God family, requires three
phases or three "births".
parents, we are
very much involved with the first one - the birth of our children. We can help prepare
them for their second birth - birth by water - but it has to be their decision, but the
third one - birth by the Spirit - is completely out of our hands. The point I am
trying to make is that any children we produce, really belong to God -
but He gives us the chance to be part of the initial process.
1:2-4 NLT Listen, O heavens! Pay attention, earth! This is
what the LORD says: "The
children I raised and cared for
have rebelled against Me. (3) Even an ox knows its
and a donkey recognizes its master's care—but Israel doesn't
its Master. My people
don't recognize My care for them." (4)
Oh, what a sinful nation they are—loaded down with a burden
of guilt. They are evil people, corrupt
children who have rejected the LORD. They have despised
the Holy One of Israel and turned their backs on Him.
45:11 NLT This is what the LORD says—the Holy One
of Israel and your Creator: "Do
you question what I do for My children? Do you give Me
orders about the work of My hands?
NET. " 'You took your
sons and your daughters whom you bore to me and you
sacrificed them as food for the idols to eat. ... ,"
we should see our children as only being on loan to us.
are not our possessions, and we should not try to "tie them to our
apron strings". Enjoy them, train them, feed them, clothe them, love
them - but
see it all as a service to God.
Fulfill their duties in the home.
topic covers so much ground, there is no way I can do it justice as
point No. 4.
I will try to put it in point form -
but each point needs further explanation. Maybe at a later time I can
try to do just that.
list goes on, but you should get the idea that a women's influence over
a home covers many different aspects. Just "looking good" and expecting
everything else to just "happen" does not cut it.
the feeling of security by giving love. Every man, woman, child and animal likes to feel
secure and loved.
the right kind of food. The only food you can buy in a supermarket that
is not contaminated with additives, preservatives, modified
starch/carbohydrate, coal tar colours, corn syrup, sugar, excessive
salt, or out of balance vitamins mostly come from the
dairy/meat/vegetable section. But even then they are not free of all
contamination. All other products are healthier if you
make them at home.
mother especially needs to know how to train children. This needs to be
done without physical violence, shouting, name calling, and so on.
requires being an educator, homework supervisor, and personal
- The only clothing bought should be
comfort and health and according to God's standards - not for "being in fashion" or
- Every woman in the home needs
some basic or intermediate First Aid training.
woman of the house needs to understand the effects and side affects of
"approved" drugs, or knows where to find the information as required.
The days are long gone where all you need to do is "trust" the medical
housewife needs to understand how common household items can be used in
health emergencies. Things like, honey and cinnamon ,
lemons, Epsom Salts, Sodium Bicarbonate, salt, pepper, olive oil, port,
shells, vinegar, and so on.
- Washing clothes and
dishes with minimal pollution to the environment.
- Growing vegetables, nuts and fruits.
how to preserve fruits, vegetables, meat or bread without
refrigeration. This can include bottling, making into jam, pickling,
- Understanding what cleaning
products to use, and what ones to stay clear of.
what kind of lights are OK and what kind have a negative influence on
our health. See "Why do I feel so awful? by Dr David R.
- What kind of paint can be used. What kind
of carpet should be avoided at all cost.
what kind of furniture is OK - some give off harmful vapors.
Set a high standard as a Christian.
can only be if the Ten Commandments are obeyed along with all they
No sex - not even the thought of it (Mat
outside of marriage.
(Breaks the 7th Commandment).
No smoking. (Breaks the 2nd Commandment),
No gambling. (Breaks the 10th Commandment).
gossip. (Breaks the 9th Commandment).
1Ti 5:13-14 NET. And besides that,
going around from house to house they learn to be lazy, and they are not only lazy, but also gossips
and busybodies, talking about things they should
not. (14) So I want younger women to marry, raise
children, and manage a household, in order to give the
adversary no opportunity to vilify us.
No idle or unsavory talk.
dressing to entice the looks of men, other than your husband, and then
in private. If a man looks at you with lust, then he has already broken
the 7th commandment (Mat 5:28), and if you encouraged it by dressing in
a "sexual" manner, you would have to share some of the sin. This
does not mean that women have to be "dowdy" in their dress, just that
they should not draw attention to the sexual parts of the female body.
The clothing and colours can promote your personality, and certainly
should look feminine.
3:1-6 NET. "In the same way, wives, be subject to your own
husbands. Then, even if some are disobedient to the word, they will be
won over without a word by the way you live, (2)
see your pure and reverent conduct. (3) Let
your beauty not be external — the braiding of hair and
gold jewelry or fine clothes — (4) but the inner
the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit,
which is precious in God's sight. (5) For in the
same way the holy women
who hoped in God long ago adorned themselves by being subject to their
(6) like Sarah who obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You
her children when you do what is good and have no fear in doing so."
make-up that gives a false impression of what you look like (which
breaks the spirit of the ninth commandment).
2:9-10 NET.1Ti 2:9 NET. Likewise the women are to dress in suitable apparel, with modesty and self-control. Their adornment must not be with braided hair and gold or pearls or expensive clothing, 10) but with good deeds, as
is proper for women who profess reverence for God.
engaged in promoting God's laws and way of live.
68:11 NET. "The Lord speaks;
many, many women spread the good news."
is a full-time job. By
now, we should be able to see that being a woman - and especially a
wife and mother - is a full time job. It requires a well rounded
education, and an ability to search out information. To do the job
properly leaves no
time to fight the men for their position.
put it another way. Women were created to be a help-mate to a man.
How you go about supporting the man in your life, tells
lot about how you will go about supporting Him in the Kingdom. Your
position in the Kingdom of God - your reward - is tied in to
well you understand - and then fulfill - your God given role of being a
The World has it Wrong.The
other day on ABC radio, the host of the morning show was "complaining"
about the fact that more men than women were on the honours list for
the Queen's Birthday in Australia. It is unlikely that any man has held
worthy of praise, or been able to do a good service for the community,
without the help and support of his wife. The fact is - men achieve in
life because of the
help they get from their wives. Christ confirmed for us, that when a man
women marry, they become one. Therefore the world should honour the
couple, not just the man. Instead of the award going to Mr. Smith or
Jack Smith, it should go to Mr and Mrs Jack Smith, or Jack and Jill
Smith. This would stop a lot of the gender analysis of lists of who
gets what, or does this or that.
Most women who rise
to the top
in some endeavor, need the support of a loving and understanding
husband. Let us recognize the "oneness" of a marriage, rather than
highlighting just one half of the working unit.
one more thing.Some women are envious over the
positions men get to hold in the workplace (and the amount of money they are paid).
raises the question of women working.
logic tells us that, a mother with children under 12 or 13, if she is
going to do her job properly, simply does not have the time to go out
and work full time. Too many things are going to be left undone if eight or
more hours are taken out of the day.
While it is
ideal for a
mother to make her job running the home, this is only possible if the
husband and wife plan for it right from the beginning of the marriage.
Instead of getting that "nice house" and the "nice cars" early in life,
may have to wait till the parenting job - in partnership with God - has
It makes good sense for a woman to
have a job
before having children, especially to stock up on the linen, cookware,
and so on, that is needed to make a house a home.
in Proverbs we read of a women who took care of her household, yet was
still able to earn some extra income.
NET. Who can
find a wife of noble character?
For her value is far
more than rubies.
The heart of her husband has confidence in her,
and he has no lack of gain.
brings him good and not evil
all the days of her life.
(13) She obtains wool and flax,
and she is pleased to work with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships;
she brings her food from afar.
also gets up while it is still night,
and provides food for her household and a portion to her female
(16) She considers a field and buys it;
from her own income she plants a vineyard.
woman can sometimes make money by making things at home, and then
selling them (v13).
v16. Here she is supervising a field that is growing a crop. The actual
planting and harvesting would most likely be done by contract labor.
The actual hours that she would be away from home in a year
probably be very small.
I think the principle that
is trying to
get across, is that it is not wrong for a wife to earn money,
just do it in ways that does not impact too much on the time you spend
with your family. Today, many women are using the Internet to run small
businesses from home.
Some Thoughts on Marriage.In
reading the Life Application Study Bible, I came across some statements
they have made about marriage, that I think are worth taking some time
to think about.
Genesis 2, page 9:
"Marriage is based on the principled practice of love, not on feelings."
other words, if you do what is right by God's law, then the marriage
will work, and the feelings of oneness will come with time.
Genesis 2, page 8:
"Living with the consequences of our choices teaches us to think and choose more carefully".
Genesis 2, page 9:
"Marriage is a living symbol of Christ and the church".
Genesis 4, page 13:
intercourse is the most intimate of acts, sealing a social, physical,
and spiritual relationship. That is why God has reserved it for
have been given the necessary characteristics to be in charge, because
they can keep the "big picture" in mind, and once having set a course
will generally stick to it.
Women have been given
the necessary characteristics to be in charge of the myriad of things that need to happen - many at the same time - in the
a general rule, men will probably spend more time dealing with
issues outside the home - but should never be to the exclusion of not
knowing what the family is doing and what they are feeling. Women will
usually spend more time on issues inside the home - but again, this
should never be to the exclusion of knowledge about of the "state of
the family" and what is happening in the world.
a Christian marriage there is room for some overlap (for example, dad
nappies and mum doing something in the garden) and both should be
knowledgeable with what their spouse is doing. The division of labour
needs to be sorted out through discussion, and if either has special
skills in an area, then they can look after that side of things for the
good of the family. For example, some women have better financial
skills than men, so allow them to use those skills and keep track of
the family's finances.
should treat all women with respect, and be quick to defend them.
and women have different areas of responsibility as they head for the
common goal of becoming spirit beings in God's Kingdom.
people talk about wanting "equality" for the women of the world so they
can take over leadership positions from the men, they
are - as I see it - rejecting God's standards, and allowing their basic human nature to
Orchard July 2008
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